Category Archives: Sexual Issues

Lifelong Learning – Good Touch, Bad Secrets

good touch, bad secretsHow do you respond if a child confides that they have been molested? The response of a caregiver can make all the difference in a child’s life. Is there any way to prevent sexual molestation?  How can we prevent molestation? The highest percentage of molestation is done by children to other children. How can you prevent your child from either being molested or becoming a molester in an age of easy pornography access online and all the various types of media now so readily accessible? Have you learned who and where the perpetrators of sexual molestation are in your neighborhood?  How do you talk to your child about appropriate dress and healthy relationships without introducing shame and fear into their attitude? How much and what kind of talk is too much? Do you know the communication rules for communicating with your child? What is age appropriate information for them?  Watch the video

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Lifelong Learning – Premarital Sex or Purity?

By Alexis A. Goring

Our society has fostered, to full bloom, a misconstrued view of how love relationships should be in our world.

Popular movie “love scenes,” television shows laden with naughty behavior and raunchy jokes, friends who are giving in to their desires when dating, and contemporary culture in general are promoting the desire for—and acceptance of—premarital sex. Contemporary culture, even within Christian circles, says that if you’re truly, madly, deeply in love with someone to whom you’re not married, then it is OK to have sex.

The world has embraced risqué behavior and approved it as normal. So normal, in fact, that if you’re not in agreement, you’re labeled as old-fashioned, weird, or worse. Labels not worthy of publishing become part of your social identity.

Everybody’s Doing It?
In the 1990s teens used the popular statement “But everybody’s doing it!” with their parents when they wanted to do something they knew was wrong. Fast-forward to the new millennium, in which reality TV gives us glimpses into celebrity (and everyday) lifestyle in which it appears, through the association of the characters, that the “everybody’s doing it” argument is growing truer by the minute.

In an article for USA Today Sharon Jayson writes: “Almost all Americans 
have premarital sex, says a report published Tuesday that analyzes federal data over time and suggests programs focusing on sexual abstinence until marriage may be unrealistic.” * So how do you live when everybody (apart from the rare finds) appears to be “doing it” outside the boundaries of marriage?

Under Pressure
Christian artist Rebecca St. James, who has devoted her life and music ministry to teaching about Continue Reading…

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Lifelong Learning – The Missing Story

I recently viewed a new feature-length documentary, “Seventh-Gay Adventists,” which explores “the spiritual quests of three subjects who wrestle with the difficult issue of reconciling their religious and sexual identities.” Originally conceived as an “issues” film—with a broad range of perspectives—the project evolved into its final narrative form.

Producers Daneen Akers and her husband, Stephen Eyer, are indeed skilled storytellers, and the film’s gentle tone softens its in-your-face title. The subjects of the film include two longtime couples—male-male, female-female—and one new couple: a young man and his boyfriend-turned-fiancé. We’re brought into their everyday lives—grocery shopping, making supper, family worship, Sabbath school—in a way that feels all too familiar, if not mundane. The message is clear: gay couples are pretty much like anyone else, and they should be welcomed and loved by our churches, not left out in the cold.

The film’s most iconic scene is the wedding of the two young men, with their loving but conflicted family members looking on. “This has been a journey for us as well,” remarks his father, a church official. “This isn’t what we’d imagined for David.”

What this film does very well is help viewers see gay people as Continue reading


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Why Not Try This? …Help A Struggling Marriage

Rumors were beginning to swirl around our church. Was it true that one of the couples was having trouble with their marriage and even thinking about divorce? The battle in my mind began. Should I say something to them or was it none of my business? What if I said something but it was taken the wrong way? But if I didn’t say something and they later divorced I would feel guilty for not doing anything. They probably needed counseling and since I’m not a trained counselor I was off the hook. But was there anything I could do as a friend and fellow believer to help them with the underlying spiritual issues that were causing the problems?

I decided to pray for each member of the family by name that God would bring peace and good out of the difficulties. Next I asked God for wisdom and courage to act quickly before I came up with more excuses for inaction.

Finally I made the (uncomfortable) phone calls. Continue reading


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What Works For Me In… Understanding How To Help Homosexuals & Their Families

Gary Blanchard (, Associate Pastor, Wenatchee, WA Seventh-day Adventist District (Upper Columbia Conference) shares tremendous insights in this article–


Sometime ago a friend of mine sent me a clip from the comic T.V. series “Family Guy” where Peter the man of the house gets injected with the “gay gene.” To the amazement of his family and friends, his mannerisms, clothing styles and of course sexual orientation changed almost instantly. Eventually though his family can’t take it anymore and want their “straight” dad back. So his son and dog drug him and take him to “Straight Camp.” While there Peter learns from his Christian coach that “Jesus hates many people but none more than homosexuals.”

What is most disturbing about this quote, even though it comes from a comedy show, is that many actually believe it. But in Leviticus 18:22 the Bible says Continue reading

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Lifelong Learning- 12 Great Online Resources

  1. Bible Prophecy Truth website– Amazing resources at your fingertips from from Amazing Facts.
  2. Ellen White Answers– Provides good research to answer attacks on Ellen White and her writings. Maintained by Professor Jud Lake from Southern Adventist University.
  3. Dwight Nelson Sermon Series on The Temple– (Aug-Dec 09). Includes hot topics such as Creation/Evolution, Homosexuality, Nostradamus, etc.
  4. The Bible and Evolution article– Outstanding, simplified evidence and reasoning believers can share with skeptics.
  5. Creation Sabbath Resources– Great stuff, even after the fact!
  6. The Liberty Blog– Great up-to-date analysis of Continue reading

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Filed under Bible Study, Family, Health & Temperance, Lifelong Learning, Pastoring, Preaching, Religious Liberty, Sabbath, Second Coming, Sexual Issues

Media & Adventist Benefits- White Collar Cults

Recently one of our northwest Seventh-day Adventist pastors went through a very difficult experience. He was encouraged by several friends to attend a weekend in Portland called “Foundations.” He paid the fee and attended but had such serious reservations about some of the process that he left early. He wrote down his experience and perspectives . Afterwards he started doing more research into “Foundations” and other related activities. He came across an article titled “White Collar Cults” and stated that even though the article was written over 15 years ago it described numerous parallels with what he had just experienced.

What becomes abundantly clear from these experiences is that many people are searching for answers to deep relationship and emotional challenges. The ultimate solution can only be found in a deeper relationship with Jesus and healthier relationships within the body of Christ, in spite of all its flaws. As Seventh-day Adventists we have the tremendous advantage of have inpired counsel to help us filter out false therapies and embrace those in harmony with the principles of the Bible. For those who have never read them I highly recommend the two-volume set of Mind, Character and Personality (read some chapters online at Google Books and see free online study guides here) which has inspired counsel and Chapters such as Heredity and Environment (Chap 17), Security in the Home (18), Christ deals with Minds (21), Selfishness and Self-centeredness (30), Infatuation and Blind Love (32), Guilt (48), Worry and Anxiety (50), Depression (52), Pain (55), Anger (56), Hatred and Revenge (57), Communication (62), Imagination (63), Emotional Needs (66), Rejection (69), Thought Habits (72), Mind Controlling Mind (78), Hypnotism and Its Dangers (79), Safe Mind Therapy (80), Dealing With Emotions (84) and Safe Mind Therapy (81). There is no need to be led astray in these last days.

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Lifelong Learning- Seven Great Online Resources

  1. Defending Adventist Fundamental Beliefs (or  Various articles and discussions with Dale Ratzlaff, Desmond Ford and other on topics such as the Sabbath, Ellen White, Pre-Advent Judgment, the Gospel, the Law and Final Events. Maintained by Martin Weber, Communications Director for the Mid-America Union.
  2. Creation, Faith & Science. Seventh-day Adventist World Church President Jan Paulsen’s recent statement on faith, science and creation.
  3. Which Old Testament laws have universal application and which were for the Children of Israel? Jacques Doukhan shares a Bible study on this important topic in a 2006 issue of Shabbat Shaloam titled “The Torah: The Law of God”
  4. Clergy Sexual Abuse. Hope of Survivors Ministry ( helps victims of pastoral sexual abuse. This video clip describes the need for this ministry.
  5. When God disciplines us. When God chisels the dead weight out of our lives it can be very painful. In one of their most requested skits, Tommy and Eddie (“The Skit Guys” at give a very creative look at a typical believer having to go through the process of discipline. Click to watch video clip.
  6. Preach better sermons. provides Adventist tools for better preaching such as sermon outlines, videos, etc.
  7. Plusline Resources. If you haven’t checked out recently you’ll be amazed at how you can find almost any North American Division event, resource, article or piece of information there.

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Media & Adventist Benefits- Sex on TV linked to teen pregnancies

“Teenagers who watch a lot of television featuring flirting, necking, discussion of sex and sex scenes are much more likely than their peers to get pregnant or get a partner pregnant, according to the first study to directly link steamy programming to teen pregnancy.

“”Sexual content on television has doubled in the last few years, especially during the period of our research,” said Chandra, a researcher at the nonpartisan Rand Corp.

“Studies have found a link between watching television shows with sexual content and becoming sexually active earlier, and between sexually explicit music videos and an increased risk of sexually transmitted diseases. Continue reading

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What Works For Me- Top Stories

If you missed them you might want to read them now. Here are the top five most viewed stories in the “What Works For Me” category during the past year. Please add your additional comments at the end of any of these posts–

  1. WHAT WORKS FOR ME… In Helping people with sexual addictions, pornography, etc.
  2. What Works For Me in… Saving Money on my Taxes
  3. What Works For Me in… Finding Sources of Sermon Illustrations
  4. What Works For Me in… Keeping My Personal Time With God Meaningful
  5. What Works For Me in… Outreach at Halloween, Thanksgiving and/or Christmas

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